Posted in Comfort & Control, Living In Community on Jul 3rd, 2009 3 Comments »
Five years ago in the middle of the night on July 3rd, Bryan and I woke suddenly to a smoke filled house. My heart fluttered in my chest as the adrenaline washed through me, and I rushed into Ruthie’s room to snatch her from her crib. We quickly realized the fire was not in our [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Depression on Jun 24th, 2009 6 Comments »
“…God will not ask you to follow any biblical mandate without providing the grace and ability to carry it out.” – Lou Priolo, The Heart of Anger The other day I watched a substitute mail carrier drive up to our cluster of boxes, tinker around, then drive away. When I opened the box I saw [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Learning, Soundrack on Mar 31st, 2009 3 Comments »
We sing this song often in our church, but it became particularly relevant during the five weeks Bryan was out of work. It often seems that stress begets stress, and things began to fall apart a little between us in that season. We pressed through and we’re all good now, but I wouldn’t change a [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control on Mar 23rd, 2009 1 Comment »
One of the most challenging insecurities I have is to feel misunderstood. Or related: to not be heard. Or a variation: to be heard and understood, but disagreed with. I’m often so convinced of my rightness that if you could just understand what I was saying, if I could have the opportunity to restate my [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, On Writing on Mar 12th, 2009 No Comments »
The times, they are a-busy. (Doesn’t that sound poetic? More poetic than, Sorry I haven’t written in awhile?) I have many thoughts brewing and several essays started, but I can’t seem to get my thoughts out just right. And I don’t mean ‘just right’ in the drafting sense of writing, but ‘just right’ in the [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control on Mar 2nd, 2009 4 Comments »
One of the patterns I’m trying to overcome as Jesus frees me from my massive control issues is my flight or fight response when I feel hurt or threatened. Most of the time I fight back, or at least obsess over how I WOULD fight back if only I had the balls. During an argument [...]
Posted in Books, Comfort & Control on Feb 18th, 2009 No Comments »
Last month I read Barbara Kingsolver’s The Poisonwood Bible. I’d heard great things about her and about the book, and was intrigued by its plot summary. It proved to measure up to all I’d heard about it. There were a few exceptions to the praise, however. I found some who saw no value in it, [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Seen, Heard, Said, Until Death Do Us Part (and to the Death it will be) on Feb 7th, 2009 3 Comments »
Trusting God With Your Dreams – Conversion Diary Oh, let me count the ways in which I love this post: 1. It’s about dreaming big, yet relinquishing control. 2. It’s about seizing the opportunities in front of you, yet relinquishing control. 3. It’s about finding joy in the unexpected and (say it with me) relinquishing [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Learning on Feb 4th, 2009 2 Comments »
Last night in our community group the question was asked, Why did Jesus humble himself and come into human history? There are so many ways to answer this question, but as I read through Job this week I am surprised to find much of his lamenting is a plea for a Savior to spare him [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control on Feb 2nd, 2009 1 Comment »
3-5 Time passed. Cain brought an offering to God from the produce of his farm. Abel also brought an offering, but from the firstborn animals of his herd, choice cuts of meat. God liked Abel and his offering, but Cain and his offering didn’t get his approval. Cain lost his temper and went into a [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Rage Against The Pile on Dec 29th, 2008 No Comments »
“From that time many of His disciples went back, and walked no more with him.” John 6:66 When God gives a vision by His Spirit through His word of what He wants, and your mind and soul thrill to it, if you do not walk in the light of that vision, you will sink into [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Everyday, Ruthie, Thomas on Nov 26th, 2008 3 Comments »
One of my epic fails as a parent is trying to dictate what kind of children I have. I spent all of Ruthie’s early years trying to find a toy – JUST ONE – that she would play with. I never had any luck with that. She always preferred my pots and pans over her [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control on Nov 20th, 2008 4 Comments »
Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master (Ephesians 6:4, The Message). Last night at dinner Ruthie asked for a straw to drink her milk with. I said no. This triggered a chain of events that eventually landed [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control on Nov 11th, 2008 2 Comments »
Psalm 3 (The Message) 1-2 God! Look! Enemies past counting! Enemies sprouting like mushrooms, Mobs of them all around me, roaring their mockery: “Hah! No help for him from God!” 3-4 But you, God, shield me on all sides; You ground my feet, you lift my head high; With all my might I shout up [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Rage Against The Pile, Ruthie on Nov 3rd, 2008 2 Comments »
Reconciling with children is much different than with adults. When Bryan and I get into a fight, it often takes several long conversations to cover all the rabbit trails of baggage that manifested itself in the actual fought upon issue. I get to explain my feelings. I get to lay down the foundation of how [...]
Be warned: what you see here is not my best work. It is what Anne Lamott describes in Bird By Bird as a series of “shitty first drafts.” Blogging dragged me kicking and screaming out of creative constipation by getting me to actually write. So I do that. A lot. Without worrying about every word choice or comma placement.
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