Mail Man Mail Man do your duty
Here comes a woman with an African booty
This is what they’re singing on the playground these days while jumping rope.
When I was a kid we sang about bubble gum and ice cream, but now it’s about getting laid by the mail man.
I once got in trouble for telling one of my parents’ friends I was going to sock him right in the kisser. I thought we were all kidding around, but apparently I was not the funny one. I was mortified that I had said something wrong, and cried DRAH MA TAH CLY before I finally apologized.
We were at Bridgeman’s Ice Cream on W. 66th in Richfield, Minnesota after church, in a corner booth opposite the kitchen door. THAT’s how clearly that embarrassing moment is etched in my mind.
So I asked Ruthie if she knew what that meant, and she was all, I don’t care.
And I was all, WELL YOU’RE GONNA CARE!
Okay, I didn’t really say that. But I THOUGHT that. And I also thought about my hands around her neck. And I also thought about locking her in a box.
But that’s normal, right? Please tell me you think about that all the time, too. Pretty please?
Anyway, what I REALLY said, was that the mail man is being told to treat a woman like she’s his wife, only she isn’t, and what does Jesus say about that? And how is a man supposed to treat a woman who is not his wife? And for that matter, how is a man supposed to treat ANYbody? And who is that man supposed to listen to – Jesus? or a bunch of first graders who are taunting him to sleep with the first woman he runs into???
Okay, I edited that part a bit for age appropriateness.
Maybe.
But we had our little conversation, and it was all just dandy. This was months ago. And just last week when I asked her again how that little jingle went, she rattled it off like an auctioneer and I was all, Wow, you still know that pretty well.
And she was all, Yeah.
And I was all, Sooooo, you’re still chanting that on the playground then?
And she was all, Kinda.
So we had that same conversation. Again.
And I realized parenting is not just about being a broken record, but about being THE LOUDEST BROKEN RECORD ON THE PLAYGROUND.
Thankfully our jump-rope songs are still mostly about candy. There is the boy who gets caught on the playground and kissed by the girls – but I sang that one too. As long as she doesn’t ACT on it…that’s another story.
Wow, yes, things have changed! We sang the “Cinderella dressed in Yella” song. We’ve got to come up with some better jump rope songs than JayZ. I’m googling now.