Mail Man Mail Man do your duty
Here comes a woman with an African booty
This is what they’re singing on the playground these days while jumping rope.
When I was a kid we sang about bubble gum and ice cream, but now it’s about getting laid by the mail man.
I once got in trouble for telling one of my parents’ friends I was going to sock him right in the kisser. I thought we were all kidding around, but apparently I was not the funny one. I was mortified that I had said something wrong, and cried DRAH MA TAH CLY before I finally apologized.
We were at Bridgeman’s Ice Cream on W. 66th in Richfield, Minnesota after church, in a corner booth opposite the kitchen door. THAT’s how clearly that embarrassing moment is etched in my mind.
So I asked Ruthie if she knew what that meant, and she was all, I don’t care.
And I was all, WELL YOU’RE GONNA CARE!
Okay, I didn’t really say that. But I THOUGHT that. And I also thought about my hands around her neck. And I also thought about locking her in a box.
But that’s normal, right? Please tell me you think about that all the time, too. Pretty please?
Anyway, what I REALLY said, was that the mail man is being told to treat a woman like she’s his wife, only she isn’t, and what does Jesus say about that? And how is a man supposed to treat a woman who is not his wife? And for that matter, how is a man supposed to treat ANYbody? And who is that man supposed to listen to – Jesus? or a bunch of first graders who are taunting him to sleep with the first woman he runs into???
Okay, I edited that part a bit for age appropriateness.
But we had our little conversation, and it was all just dandy. This was months ago. And just last week when I asked her again how that little jingle went, she rattled it off like an auctioneer and I was all, Wow, you still know that pretty well.
And she was all, Yeah.
And I was all, Sooooo, you’re still chanting that on the playground then?
And she was all, Kinda.
So we had that same conversation. Again.
And I realized parenting is not just about being a broken record, but about being THE LOUDEST BROKEN RECORD ON THE PLAYGROUND.