My assistant affectionately calls me the Boss Lady, which I find endearing. “Hey boss lady,” she’ll write in an email. “Here’s the weekly financial update. Did you send out the checks?”
Yeah, she may call me Boss Lady, but she’s always telling me what to do.
I find that I really like being the boss lady. I oversee three project managers and my assistant, as well as various illustrators and animators. I love working with this team. I learn a lot from this team.
And I’ve learned a lot about myself, being the boss lady.
I’ve learned that it really sucks when your team has to work a weekend because you have the gift of procrastination. I’ve learned that kindness builds bridges. I’ve learned that praise is a great motivator, and generosity breeds loyalty. I’ve learned that it’s okay to leave things undone at the end of the day… unless I’ve squandered my time. I’ve learned that I hired great people, so I can stop trying to do their job for them.
I’ve learned that I need to keep reminding myself of all that I’ve learned.
I’m not sure what it is about motherhood that I just don’t GET at first glance, but I feel like all the lessons I learn about being a mom I learn while being something else. I guess a detached perspective is the story God chooses to tell me – I’m just thankful he continues to crack a hard nut like myself.
But anyway, as I thought about how much I love to serve my team and see them succeed in their jobs and give them the tools they need to be awesome producers of great animations, I realized I fail so spectacularly at doing this for my own children.
I do not serve my children generously – I take what I need from them. I do not get excited to see them succeed – I want them out of my way. I do not always give them the tools they need to be awesome – I criticize them.
Surprisingly, I don’t feel guilty about this. Guilt is not from Jesus – he does not shame me to action. Conviction is from Jesus – he gives me clarity to see what I’m doing really looks like, and frankly I’m not all that impressed by it once I can see behind the curtain.
So I pray tonight for my hard, cranky, selfish heart to be as generous and kind and encouraging to my kids as it is to my team.
And maybe, just maybe I’ll make my kids call me Boss Lady, too.