Posted in Comfort & Control, Rage Against The Pile, Ruthie on Feb 9th, 2011 4 Comments »
Earlier this year Ruthie had an ongoing conflict with some kids on the school bus. She wanted to sit in the way back – in the last seat – but the older kids wouldn’t let her. If she claimed the back seat first, the older girls would kick her out. Sometimes she got off the [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Depression, Rage Against The Pile, Soundrack on Jan 24th, 2011 4 Comments »
For more than ten years this song always seems to find me in my darkest hour. Whether I am depressed, wallowing, full of rage, or drenched in the stench of my own selfishness, the Truth in these words sets my heart straight. And it’s not just the words themselves, but the way in which I [...]
Posted in Rage Against The Pile, Ruthie on Jan 22nd, 2011 1 Comment »
There must be forgiveness here cuz everyone has their weaknesses… -Cloud Cult, Purpose If I cataloged everything Ruthie tagged with a marker or pencil, it would make the Ikea catalog look like a Sunday paper insert. My friend pointed out that at least the graffiti was cute, but since nearly everything she tags involves a [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Rage Against The Pile on Oct 8th, 2010 No Comments »
After several volatile mornings followed by several volatile afternoons I had to regroup my wits and come up with a way to deal with Ruthie that didn’t involve me yelling at her. I’m really good at yelling – it’s a knee-jerk reaction to being yelled at, and I get yelled at a lot. I hate [...]
Posted in Everyday, Rage Against The Pile on May 12th, 2010 4 Comments »
Posted in Rage Against The Pile on May 2nd, 2010 1 Comment »
Going back to work opened a new arena for dealing with my… issues. Sometimes the stress of project deadlines carries over into home life, and I get short tempered with the kids for no reason. Or I can’t turn my brain off, and the fourteenth WATCH THIS MOM sends me over the edge. Or something [...]
Posted in Rage Against The Pile on Apr 27th, 2010 No Comments »
What a gross morning. I yelled a lot this morning. As I’m yelling, I know I shouldn’t be yelling, but I yell anyway. It’s like I can’t stop myself. I know I can, but I don’t. And it’s gross. It’s gross because in the moment I feel so much better when I’m yelling. I feel [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Rage Against The Pile on Dec 29th, 2008 No Comments »
“From that time many of His disciples went back, and walked no more with him.” John 6:66 When God gives a vision by His Spirit through His word of what He wants, and your mind and soul thrill to it, if you do not walk in the light of that vision, you will sink into [...]
Posted in Everyday, Learning, Rage Against The Pile on Dec 13th, 2008 1 Comment »
Over the last couple years I’ve learned what circumstances trigger my rage episodes, and they are as follows: Low blood sugar – If I go too long without eating, or if I eat all the wrong things, watch out! When my blood sugar gets low I feel frantic, anxious, on edge, and my patience is [...]
Posted in Rage Against The Pile, Ruthie on Dec 2nd, 2008 1 Comment »
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). This is a pretty foundational concept in the Zug Haus, though some of us (…ahem…) don’t always execute it gracefully. As Believers we give grace because we have been given grace – though usually [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Rage Against The Pile, Ruthie on Nov 3rd, 2008 2 Comments »
Reconciling with children is much different than with adults. When Bryan and I get into a fight, it often takes several long conversations to cover all the rabbit trails of baggage that manifested itself in the actual fought upon issue. I get to explain my feelings. I get to lay down the foundation of how [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Depression, Rage Against The Pile on Jun 13th, 2008 5 Comments »
A year or more ago, I was talking with a friend about how I had taken to self medicating my visits to Funkytown with alcohol. I know that sounds bad, but hear me out. After Thomas was born, which was two months after losing Gordy to cancer, I experienced postpartum depression that was severe enough [...]
Posted in Comfort & Control, Depression, Rage Against The Pile on Feb 20th, 2008 3 Comments »
I’ve had a really shitty couple of days. I wake up cranky, I drink too much coffee, my house is a disaster, I yell at my kids, and I’m behind on everything. Shitty. And I can’t say that I have any circumstances to blame this on. Yes, Bryan has been working a lot, and yes, [...]
Posted in Piling It On (and taking it off), Rage Against The Pile on Oct 12th, 2007 1 Comment »
Wow. Who knew? I am completely addicted to working out. I was talking to a friend last night about all the exercising I’ve been doing, and how my whole new daily routine has been fantastic, and how I’m actually accomplishing MORE even though I added an hour and a half to my day by going [...]
Posted in Rage Against The Pile on Oct 8th, 2007 No Comments »
Day One of new Staying On Track Schedule is complete, and I’m tuckered out. I was productive, I was not swayed by distractions, and it was kind of nice to move through the day with purpose: make grocery list, work out, fill crock pot with dinner, go to grocery store, scream immaturely at my daughter, [...]
Be warned: what you see here is not my best work. It is what Anne Lamott describes in Bird By Bird as a series of “shitty first drafts.” Blogging dragged me kicking and screaming out of creative constipation by getting me to actually write. So I do that. A lot. Without worrying about every word choice or comma placement.
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