Author: jenzug

Mad Housewives Unite!

Mad Housewife WineMy friend, Jenny, and I both had commitments to watch someone else’s kids last night, so we decided to consolidate our tasks and hang out together in the process.

And, wow, what a night.

At one point we had seven toddlers under the age of four running around! I actually find this sort of thing fun, though exhausting. I actually went to bed before midnight last night (doesn’t happen often).

Jenny brought along a great wine for us to share after most of the kids were in bed, admittedly chosen only for the label: Mad Housewife! It wasn’t the smoothest red I’ve had, but it’s definitely worth buying just to display the bottle somewhere in your home! The back of the label reads:

Somewhere near the cool shadows of the laundry room.
Past the litter box and between the plastic yard toys.
This is your time.
Time to enjoy a moment to yourself.
A moment without the madness.
The dishes can wait.
Dinner be damned.

The Toddler WhispererWe had so much fun last night – changing diapers in shifts and taking turns as the tickle monster – that it got me thinking about other ways to share the burden of otherwise isolating or mundane tasks, making them a bit more fun.

For instance, before Thomas was born I had an ‘errand swap’ arrangement going with one of my friends – she watched Ruthie on Tuesday morning while I went grocery shopping or to my OB appointments, and I watched her kids on Thursday morning while she ran errands. It was a great way to run those multiple errands where you’re in and out of your car several times.

Several years ago when we were both first married, that same friend and I did a housecleaning swap. Every Friday we’d meet at someone’s house to clean the bathroom, kitchen, and do the vacuuming, and the next Friday we’d do the same at the other’s house. At the time, we both lived in small apartments, and working together we were able to clean an entire apartment in about an hour. It was fun, and motivating, and a great way to hang out when married life gets busy with other things.

My other friend and I have also talked about next Spring when our yards and gardens are overgrown from the Winter’s neglect. We’ve talked of taking turns on a couple of Saturdays helping each other weed, prune, and prepare our vegetable gardens – a job that may take all day alone, but much less time when working together. Plus our kids can play, and our husbands can make dinner for us, and there is so much fellowship that happens with sharing these kinds of tasks.

I think it’s easy for wives and mothers to feel isolated from others. As our lives become more complicated, our spare time is continually shrinking, and it becomes increasingly difficult to connect with other people. For many of us, our only friends are the people we work with, or if we stay home with preschoolers, we may not even have that luxury.

I think about the gal who baby sits all the children at my gym. She has a 10 month old, and almost every day that I’m in there she has another question for me – When did your kids start walking? Do your kids keep taking their shoes off? What do you do for teething pain? Is it hard having two kids so close in age? I just get the feeling that since she’s asking a complete stranger these questions, she must not have many other people in her life who understand her frustrations and insecurities.

I have a Shakespeare quote on a matted photo of me with several of my friends that says, “I am wealthy in my friends.” I think up until recently I’ve taken my life for granted, assuming that everybody has lots of people in their lives to share the emotional load of being a wife and mother. But as my world expands more and more outside of my home and my church, I’m meeting other women who are more isolated than me.

It has simultaneously caused me to invite them into my world, and become more grateful for the women in my life who influence and support me. Friendships are important to me – I’m a deeply loyal person. When life gets busy and I don’t see my friends for some time, I begin to feel isolated.

Why not multitask by hanging out together while Getting Things Done? What if we started some kind of crazy, housewife revolution to get us all out of our own mundane lack of motivations? Hey, I’ll clean yours if you clean mine!

Things to Have Checked Out

I’ve been having some uncomfortable digestive issues lately, which I won’t go into detail about here because I think we’ve had enough poop talk this week. But the first line of action my doctor suggested was to go on a B.R.A.T. diet to see if that eliminates the symptoms. I am also taking digestive enzymes.

Those of you without children who puke may not know this, but B.R.A.T. stands for Bananas, Rice, Apple sauce, and Toast. That’s a whole lot of NOTHIN’ to look forward to eating all day, so of course the first thing I wanted last night was chocolate chip cookies. I have never craved chocolate chip cookies SO MUCH as when someone tells me I can’t have them.

Having recently had two friends my own age diagnosed with Colon Cancer and Chrone’s Disease, I’m a little paranoid about what could possibly be wrong, especially since I have not changed any of my eating habits.

Nope. Still eating the same old crap.

But one thing did occur to me, and that is my symptoms first appeared after we spent a week camping and swimming in a lake. Is it possible a microscopic parasite leached its way into my blood stream and lodging in my intestines? Gross. But in light of Colon Cancer and Chrone’s Disease, I can only hope.

I Still Have What it Takes

A couple weeks ago Bryan and I saw Bruce Cockburn play at the Moore Theater in Downtown Seattle. I praise the good Lord in heaven that our seats were assigned, because whenever we see a show that only offers general admission tickets, the Earth must stop spinning if Bryan cannot spend an entire day waiting on the sidewalk outside the venue doors.

When U2 came around last year, I was only four weeks postpartum with Thomas. I actually refused to go with Bryan because I knew he would camp out all day to try and get inside the U2 Circle of Love, and I just wasn’t having it. I had a BABY to breastfeed for crying out loud, and I was still… recovering, if you know what I mean.

We actually bought tickets for separate shows and each brought a friend so I could sit in the nosebleed section, trying to stay awake and keep my boobs from leaking.

As irritated as I am by this behavior, his tireless obsession usually pays off. Like the time we waited outside Portland’s Rose Garden all day even though I was in my first trimester with Ruthie and eating nothing but saltine crackers. We got wristbands for that show and I was so close to The Boss his sweat was hitting me.

We also get the best seats EVER at movie theaters because we get there a half hour early. I feel like such a nerd. I complain the entire time we’re sitting there. I complain the entire ride to the theater. I complain as we leave dinner earlier than I want to. But when people can’t find seats five minutes before the movie starts, I’m not complaining.

It’s a ritual. Our dates would not be the same without it.

So I was grateful for assigned seats at Bruce Cockburn because it meant we could just drive there and sit down before the show started like regular people. And when we happened to get there early, we walked down to Starbuck’s at Pike Place Market to fuel us for the evening.

As we were leaving Starbuck’s, a tourist family stopped and asked me where a good place was to eat. I gave them a few suggestions, swayed them off a few of their ideas, and off they went.

I cannot tell you what a good mood that put me in! I’M STILL A CITY GIRL!

For years I lived on Queen Anne and walked UNDERNEATH THE SPACE NEEDLE to Belltown for work everyday, It was a dream life. Even when Bryan and I were married we lived in a tiny apartment a block from the Seattle Center. I got asked for directions by tourists all the time, BECAUSE IT WAS OBVIOUS I WAS A CITY GIRL.

I do miss those days. Back when I was naïve to Seattle housing costs, I swore an oath to myself that I would raise my children in the city, but when it came time to buy we couldn’t make it happen.

I love my house. We bought it because it’s in the middle of an urban center, even though that urban center is in the suburbs. But we get most of what we wanted out of urban living, which is walkable access to almost everything we need. What I miss most about the city is the funk. The most popular breakfast spot here dons white lacey doilies over their light fixtures, white lacey curtains, and mauve décor.

Not funky. Not hip.

But it’s getting there. We have The Red House, and The Met, and rumor has it a Trader Joe’s is moving in soon. But the likelihood of seeing any tourists down here is pretty slim, so I won’t be getting asked for directions.

By the way, seeing Bruce Cockburn live is the exact opposite experience of seeing Pierce Pettis live. You already know how Pierce rambles, but Bruce is so quiet during his shows it’s almost like you’re sitting in on a recording session. He’s very introverted.

However, this allows for some very odd and entertaining banter by the audience. I’ve seen Bruce play twice, now, and I’ve never experienced a more eccentric audience. People take his silence between songs as an opportunity to shout things at him, like song requests, or phone numbers, or pleas to never stop playing.

But nobody asked him for directions.

Zoe’s Family Says Thank You

Zoe is leaving the ICU today, and she continues to make great progress in her recovery. Since Zoe was born, her family has not been able to attend church or even spend much time with friends due to her susceptibility to infections and illness, so they shot some footage that I was able to edit into the following video. This was shown at church this morning.

As a side note for any media geeks who care about this sort of thing, this project was my first attempt at leaving behind Windows Movie Maker, and using the more robust Adobe Premier video editing software.

Har! Har! Har!

I’m working on another video project these days so I have nothing to say at the moment. But I will leave you with this riotous quote for today. It comes from this post over at Mommy Needs a Cocktail.

“When given an opportunity, a woman will lie about her weight. And I have only two men in my life right now–Ben and Jerry. And they love me unconditionally and want me to be happy.”

Things You May Not Have Known About Me…

Occassionally I like to use tactics to draw out my blog stalkers and try to meet the people who are reading my outer monologue. Will you induldge me this time, dear Internet?

My friend sent me this meme – she doesn’t have a blog so I can’t link her. I don’t usually do these, but this one seemed fun in a get-to-know-you sort of way. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours! Post your answers to the questions in the comments, or if you have a blog, answer them there and link to it from my comments.

Here’s mine…

Things you may not have known about me….

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Mom and wife (yeah, it’s a job. I get paid in sex, tequila, and phat electronics)
2. Assistant to … a certain swearing pastor of a large church in Seattle.
3. Assistant to … the director of a certain mentoring non profit in the area
4. Personal assistant to a family on Mercer Island (are you sensing a theme here?)

B) Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Steel Magnolias (laughter through tears – the best kind).
2. To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (and I HAVE watched it over and over because it is so. hilarious.)
3. Strictly Ballroom
4. Any of the Pixar films (out of obligation – the kids insist)

C) Four places you have lived:
1. A certain suburb of Minneapolis which shall remain nameless for purposes of avoiding premature judgment of who I am on the inside.
2. Queen Anne, Seattle WA
3. University District, Seattle, WA
4. Where I live now.

D) Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Entourage (HBO)
2. What Not to Wear (TLC)
3. Lost (NBC)
4. The Shield (FX) – OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SEASON FINALE???

E) Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Portland, OR – Okay, not REAL adventurous, but we stay at the Kennedy School every year WITHOUT CHILDREN, so it’s high on the priority list of vacations.
2. Cannon Beach – we go in the off season to the annual kite festival
3. Victoria, BC & Vancouver
4. where ever my family lives because they are all over the country and demand we visit once in awhile.

F) Websites you visit daily or often:
1. My bloglines.com feed because it tells me who has new posts (shameless plug – I’m not even getting paid for that) – but I’m most faithful to the blogs of people I know, the people I met at Blogher, and the people I meet through my comments and emails. I don’t really even read Dooce anymore (gasp!).

G ) Four of my favorite foods:
1. cereal
2. chocolate
3. margarita (does that count?)
4. the chocolate éclair from Claim Jumper

H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1. The Red House drinking wine and eating too much cheese
2. The Kennedy School with Bryan (See E above)
3. The Met drinking coffee and surfing the web with their free wifi
4. On my deck roasting marshmallows with all my friends

I) Friends I think will respond
1. Maryam
2. Cherie
3. Alecia (not really, but I’m daring her)
4. Stephanie

J) Favorite songs/music: (it changes all. the. time. but here’s what’s hot now)
1. India Arie
2. Bruce Cockburn
3. The Mountain Goats
4. Jack Johnson

K) Favorite Colors: (hm, the colors in my house?)
1 eggplant
2. chartreuse
3. chocolate brown
4. Red

L) Favorite Author:
1. Honestly, I don’t read anymore. I only have time for one hobby at a time.
2.
3.
4.

M) Moments I will never forget (not in any order):
1. on the phone, standing in my laundry room, hearing that Gordy had died
2. my son shooting out of my body before the doctor could arrive
3. spending the night in the hospital with a friend who needed me
4. noticing that Bryan, then a single man I had not yet met, brought an impressive mandarin almond salad to a pot luck, beating out all the yahoos who brought KFC buckets or McD’s cheeseburgers. Or nothing. The rest is history.

TAG! YOU’RE IT!

What is it With Men and Poop?

Have you noticed that every time a man needs to take a crap he brings some sort of leisurely reading with him? What is with that? For the longest time I actually wondered if there was something wrong with me because when I go I’m in and I’m out – no time for the newspaper.

I think a man’s bowels are built differently than a woman’s, and when men are babies, those bowels are much too powerful for their little bodies to handle. Thomas has been waking up from his naps with record breaking, monkey flinging, death defying diaper blow-outs lately – the kind that require me to strip the kid down IN HIS CRIB, then wrap up the foulness into his sheet to be laundered.

It’s getting so bad that today as I chopped green onions in the kitchen and Bryan went upstairs to get him, I smelled the odor of poop wafting down the stairs to my nose. (Mind you, that poop odor has to make a right, a left, and a hairpin turn on the landing). The other day during his nap Thomas’ poop oozed up his back, and as he played quietly in his crib he stood and backed up against every inch of every side of his crib walls.

THAT was fun to clean.

Thomas also poops in the bathtub two out of three times and I find his huge floaty logs next to the swimming Dora. And when I say huge I’m not exaggerating. Bryan saw the floating poop once and his eyes lit up and he was all, “Nice poop, Thomas! That’s man sized! Gimme some knucks!”

So if you are reading this while drinking your morning coffee, I apologize. I should have warned you.

Welcome BACK to the House of Barbeque

New Outdoor Lights We had another BBQ last night, which gave me the opportunity to show off my new patio lights (75% off at Cost Plus!). Their soft glow after dark made the deck look so warm and cozy I just couldn’t go to bed.

It was an impromptu BBQ, having called a few friends around 3pm yesterday after Bryan came home with steak steak and too much steak for two people to eat. I love it when he runs out to the electronics store, and comes back with steak and veggies. And even better, I love it when HE spends the afternoon chopping, marinating, and otherwise prepping for dinner while I sit in the shade with a friend watching Thomas eat sand.

This afternoon I noticed that he’s emptied the dishwasher the last three times it’s been clean. And as I write this he’s putting together the last of our Ikea bookshelves that have been sitting in their boxes in my living room for two months. Earlier today, when I told him I was frustrated by the tone of how he said something, he stopped, HEARD me, and said he was sorry for being confrontative.

My friend keeps asking for a Q-Tip swab of his DNA so she can clone one for herself.

Things I’ve Discovered (the linky post)

Pierce PettisPierce Pettis
Pierce has headlined the last couple of years at the music festival/camping trip we take annually in the San Juan Islands. If you feel like sipping a glass of wine on a cloudy day, check out some of his music. His voice is soothing, he’s a great storyteller, and his combination of interesting guitar chords is amazing. Every year at the festival he teaches a workshop on alternate guitar tunings. He’s also a hilarious rambler between songs, which I captured in this short video at the festival.

One Change
I met Mollie, the editor of One Change, at BlogHer. The tagline of her site is “Making One Change at a Time,” and I instantly knew I had to bookmark the site. It’s all about making changes to live a greener, more organic, more environmentally friendly life. I liked her One Change mentality because I was just recently having a discussion with a friend about how ridiculous I felt paying $5 for a gallon of organic milk when nothing else I bought was organic. In my mind I felt my commitment to organic living had to be all or nothing, or else I was a hypocrite. Even though she is totally hard core about her lifestyle, I don’t sense any judgement in the tone of her writing, even when it comes to the waste and excess of conferences. I especially liked her article on Mowing Your Lawn because Bryan and I get into at least one fight each summer over the reel mower we own (I love it, he hates it). She also has a great article on reducing waste by becoming more content – a thoughtful and convicting piece about what our stuff does to us, both personally and as a People.

Spell with Flickr
I don’t know what this is, exactly, or how it works, but it’s pretty fun to play around with! Just type in a word or phrase and it generates some pretty cool images. Here’s my name. Every time you refresh the screen the letters change.

Rusty S H O U T-time

Illustration Friday
I found this site through Secret Agent Josephine, and it’s really cool if you like to browse art, or if you’re an artist looking for somewhere to show your work. Each week a different theme is chosen, and artists then submit their works of art interpreting that theme. I had considered submitting a photo or two, but it looks like they limit submissions to illustrations. Hense the illustrationfriday title, I suppose. I’m slow to catch on, but I get there eventually.

Zoe’s New Heart

Thank you, Internet, for your many prayers, thoughts, emails, and comments.

Zoe came out of surgery around 1:30 or 2pm yesterday, and so far she is doing really great. When the surgeons hooked up her new heart and took her off the blood bypass, it began beating spontaneously! It is still completely amazing to me how such a thing can happen, especially on someone so young.

Things That Are Life Changing

IMG_2878About a month ago I posted about my friend who had given birth to a baby girl in need of a new heart. Zoe was born on July 2nd, and has been on the transplant list to receive a new heart since shortly after she was born. The family learned of Zoe’s heart condition at Zoe’s 20-week ultrasound in February, and in the months that followed it was determined a heart transplant was the only option for Zoe.

This evening they recieved the call they had been waiting for – a heart for Zoe has become available.

PLEASE, dear Internet, stand with me. If you pray, please pray. If you meditate, or think positive thoughts, or light a candle to remember, please do so with me as Zoe goes into surgery tonight to receive a new heart. In your thoughts and prayers, please consider these things:

– Peace for the Faultner family as they rush to prepare for this life changing event.

– Strength for little Zoe to endure the very lengthy surgery.

– Strength and wisdom for the doctors and the other medical staff, as they perform this complicated surgery.

– The donor’s family, as they are experiencing a tremendous loss at this time.

Beyond these facts, I’m a little overwhelmed at the moment to write any more. I am truly amazed at how such a thing is even possible, that two forms of life can be fused together to support each other. I will keep you posted.

The Digression of My Culinary Prowess

I have always loved to cook. Even as a single woman, among contemporaries who ate take-out or ramen noodles, I enjoyed experimenting with different recipes and ingredients.

From the time I was in college until I got married I lived with other people. Sometimes it was just me and my best friend, and other times, like the summer I rented a house with four others, or the two years I lived with up to ten other women (Yes, you heard me. That’s another story), it was many. In all those scenarios, preparing a meal was a community effort.

For years my friend and I shopped together and split the grocery bill. We took turns cooking for each other, and we entertained a lot. The summer I lived with a few other gals we often shared meals together pot luck style, and the crazy two years I lived in complete insanity with far too many women, we pooled together our money hippy style and all took turns cooking dinner.

Now that I’m married, I love it when Bryan cooks with me. He’s pretty handy in the kitchen, and on many occasions is the family chef, but my most favorite times are when we cook together. There’s always loud music involved, and wine, and a little flirting. It is a time of family celebration, even if we are just celebrating Tuesday.

When Bryan travels I am lonely, but I think it mostly hits me around the dinner hour. I’m so accustomed to the plurality of the process that I seem to lose motivation when it’s just me and the kids. After three years of cooking fresh and (mostly) healthy meals for my kids, this week I finally broke down and bought a bag of frozen fish sticks and a bag of frozen tater tots.

I know it’s not the unforgivable sin to serve convenience foods to my children, and it’s not like I haven’t fed them pizza or Chinese take-out a dozen times in the last six months, but there’s just something about fish sticks that resonates in my mind as the ultimate sell-out for me. There is no community in fish sticks. There is no process in fish sticks. There is no beauty in fish sticks. I bake them, and I feel sad and lonely.

And to top it off, my kids LOVE fish sticks and tater tots, and completely cleaned their plates in five minutes. No arguing was necessary – no stalling, no counting bites or offering rewards for finishing their meal. Gulp, gulp, gulp.

Sigh.

Well, lest I become sad and depressed over processed seafood, I captured two very adorable children enjoying the bounty of fish sticks tonight in this short video. There may not be beauty in the preparation, but the consumers make it all sparkle like Christmas.

Seriously, take Me Seriously. I’m Serious!

IMG_3076

Yesterday I saw my therapist and he TOTALLY validated me in my struggle with Ruthie. She is, officially, a Strong Willed Child (heretofore to be referred to as the SWC). She is the one people write books about, he says. She is the one I will often feel like giving away, he says. She is the one who requires strict boundaries, he says to the Queen of Grey Areas.

But before I consider giving her away, he suggested I try to work though my own issues to see if that alleviates her behavioral issues. Damn that man is smart, and worth every penny.

But in all this therapy I think I may have cracked the secret code to my toddler-like fits of screaming and throwing things: I have a fear of not being taken seriously. I’ve realized that I take it personally when Ruthie continually disobeys me because I see it as her not taking me seriously.

Maybe it’s because I’m the youngest child in my family. Or maybe it’s because I’m the “oops” child who came eleven years after my brother. Or maybe it’s because I was assigned to a TV tray at Thanksgiving dinner while the rest of the family squeezed around the dining table. Or maybe it’s because Gordy once crafted a hand carved bird house for all my married siblings’ front porches while I, the single sister who rented an apartment, received no such special carving.

Maybe I’m just a big sissy and need to get a grip. Who really knows?

The point is, I’m the grown-up and Ruthie is the child and now is not the time to be re-living past insecurities. Ain’t it a BITCH what parenting brings out in us?

Welcome to the House of Barbeque.

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This weekend we had another BBQ and Marshmallow roast with friends. In attendance were six adults and seven children under the age of six.

You may see that as chaos, but I had a blast.

One of the gals who came is my doctor/workout partner/friend. Her little boy, who is the same age as Ruthie, apparently named our home the House of Barbeque after this spectacular event.

Hey, it works for me.

God bless my doctor/workout partner/friend, though, because she reminded me how blessed my life is, with a husband who provides for me to stay home, who builds me fires and grills me a steak, who writes poetry, and who makes me laugh.

Lately I’ve been complaining about stupid things like my laptop because it’s too heavy, and I want a new one, and blah blah blah. But after spending the evening with her, and being reminded about the important things, I realized I was being a prima donna biatch about the laptop.

I love perspective, even when it kicks me in the ass.

So I heretofore declare this residence officially as The House of Barbeque, and herein we shall love God, love one another, and have ass loads of fun.

Anyone care to join us?