Posted in Comfort & Control, Rage Against The Pile on Sep 5th, 2007 No Comments »
I’ve been thinking a lot about the issue of habitual sin. We all have sinned, and we all will continue to sin until we are perfect in death with Christ. But we also have a responsibility to turn from our sin, to repent, and to stop doing it. So what to make of these habitual [...]
Posted in Rage Against The Pile, Ruthie on Sep 5th, 2007 1 Comment »
I just gave Ruthie a time out for ignoring me (a frequent happening in our relationship). After her time out, when I spoke to her about what she’d done, she seemed flippant and more concerned about getting back to Dora than she was about repenting and telling me she is sorry. So I sent her [...]
Posted in Learning, Rage Against The Pile, Until Death Do Us Part (and to the Death it will be) on Apr 24th, 2007 3 Comments »
I have flown in a lot of airplanes in my life as my family has always been scattered around the country, and this particular instruction regarding the oxygen masks always confused me. For some reason I always thought it made more sense to help the person next to you first. Aside from the fact that [...]
Posted in Rage Against The Pile on Apr 2nd, 2007 1 Comment »
Bryan has slowly been making the switch in our household from PC’s to Macs, and my laptop PC was one of the last to be switched over. He finally ordered me a new one last week, and spent time this weekend setting it up for me. I’m excited about it, and love all the cool [...]
Posted in Learning, Rage Against The Pile, Ruthie on Mar 16th, 2007 5 Comments »
There are days when Ruthie teaches me many things. Like the days when she pretends to mother her purple teddy bear – feeding it, wrapping it in a blanket to sleep… and disciplining it. I often find her setting the bear in a nearby chair, cheerfully explaining to it the reasons for a time out, [...]
Posted in On Writing, Rage Against The Pile on Mar 13th, 2007 5 Comments »
My babysitter is sick today (poor thing, she’s fighting something ugly), so I am without my afternoon of writing. I hate how this makes me feel, and I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with lost expectations. I’ve had many meaty things in my head this week, and I was really looking forward [...]
Posted in Rage Against The Pile on Feb 28th, 2007 2 Comments »
This morning I ate my breakfast while locked in the bathroom because Ruthie would not stop bugging me about giving her a bite of my eggs. I kept asking her in a calm way to please back away (she was literally in my face, hovering over my plate, with her fork touching my food), that [...]
Posted in Rage Against The Pile on Feb 15th, 2007 3 Comments »
Lately I have been struggling with guilt and condemnation. We are working through Grace in our recovery group, so of course it draws up all the nasty reasons in my heart of why I shouldn’t be worthy of God’s grace. Today is a particularly bad day as I have struggled all week in my relationship [...]
Posted in Rage Against The Pile, Ruthie on Nov 25th, 2006 No Comments »
Posted in Books, Depression, Getting Things Done, Rage Against The Pile on Nov 10th, 2006 3 Comments »
It’s interesting to me how many areas of my life are intersecting during this season – one of the side effects of so much introspection, I suppose. I’ve been reading a book that Kristin recommended, Writing from the Inside Out, by Dennis Palumbo. As a former Hollywood screenwriter and current psychotherapist, Palumbo has a unique [...]
Posted in Rage Against The Pile on Nov 9th, 2006 No Comments »
Monday was a bad day, and I knew it from the moment my ears opened to the sounds of my daughter crying when Bryan attempted to get her back to bed again at the crack of dawn. She would not have it. As a compromise, he let her sit in the recliner in his office, [...]
Posted in Rage Against The Pile on Nov 1st, 2006 3 Comments »
Ruthie is digressing. Or relapsing. Or rebelling. Or whatever you call it when a perfectly normal potty trained three-year-old starts pee-ing herself several times a day. Oh yeah. I’m angry. And I’m not just irritated-angry or inconvenienced-angry. I’M ANGRY. In fact I’m REALLY REALLY angry. I was already angry that this was happening, but then [...]
Posted in Getting Things Done, Rage Against The Pile on Oct 24th, 2006 2 Comments »
Last week I turned a corner; I flipped a bit; did a one-eighty – whatever your preferred analogy is for experiencing a rude awakening. I continue to feel the peace of God in the midst of total awareness of my depravity. Rather than feeling overwhelmed and depressed by the guilt of my sin, I am [...]
Posted in On Writing, Rage Against The Pile on Oct 17th, 2006 9 Comments »
I was hoping to be sitting at my local coffee and wine bar, sipping on a pinot and writing to my heart’s content. I have looked forward to this afternoon all week, and even now I notice that last Tuesday afternoon from the wine bar was the last time I posted. I have decided that, [...]
Posted in Depression, Getting Things Done, Rage Against The Pile, Until Death Do Us Part (and to the Death it will be) on Oct 10th, 2006 8 Comments »
I’ve had a very. bad. week. The Ya Ya Sisterhood movie comes to mind – the part where Sidda is young and her mom disappears for days on end, blacked out, and wakes up in a hotel room on the coast. This is how I felt yesterday. I felt like abandoning my children just to [...]
Be warned: what you see here is not my best work. It is what Anne Lamott describes in Bird By Bird as a series of “shitty first drafts.” Blogging dragged me kicking and screaming out of creative constipation by getting me to actually write. So I do that. A lot. Without worrying about every word choice or comma placement.
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