The Pile I’m Standing In

Thomas: “Mommy, I’m vewy spwessed.” Me: Stressed?” “Spwessed.” “Expressed?” “SPWESSED!” [deep breath] “Spwessed about what?” “I’m vewy spwessed about fouting.”

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Buzz Light Year: Hey, you wanna go for a fly? Optimus Prime: I can’t. I don’t have wings. Buzz Light Year: You could pretend your arms are wings! Optimus Prime: Hey, I have a great idea! I saw some wings at the store! [insert wing attachment sound effects] Optimus Prime: Okay, let’s go! Wanna go [...]

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One of my epic fails as a parent is trying to dictate what kind of children I have. I spent all of Ruthie’s early years trying to find a toy – JUST ONE – that she would play with. I never had any luck with that. She always preferred my pots and pans over her [...]

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Thomas asked me if he could go commando tonight – “I DON’T WANT ANOVAH PO-WUP ON SO I CAN USE THE POTTY WHEN I HAVE TO GO.” I danced circles around the dining room table when I heard this news. Literally. Just ask Ruthie – she danced with me. (It’s fun to have an older [...]

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I’m having the time of my life this year with a three and five year old. We go on adventures and treasure hunts, we have conversations, we joke around, we act silly and make things together. I’m sure some of this relative peace is because I’m not so crazy in the head as I used [...]

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I am writing this from the parking lot of Thomas’ preschool, sitting in the passenger seat of the car (The driver’s seat does not slide back far enough for me to sit with my laptop. Or perhaps my belly is too big). Despite the fact Thomas is STILL not potty trained, he started preschool two [...]

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We spent the Fourth of July in the Belltown neighborhood of Seattle listening to some good local music, then went down the sculpture gardens to watch the Elliot Bay fireworks with some friends. It was the first time we had taken the kids to one of the major fireworks shows, and I knew it was [...]

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B: Thomas! Don’t point that laser at your eye! J: What happens if he points it at his eye? B: He’ll go blind. J: Uh, why are we letting him play with the laser? B: Because he’s a boy. He needs to be trusted with dangerous things.

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I bought the kids a “gently used” play kitchen from someone off Craig’s List because I was feeling their old one was too small and unusable. I’m sure the old one was fine, and I’m sure by purchasing this new kitchen the kids will simply have a much larger toy to ignore in the playroom, [...]

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Today the kids and I went on our weekly Walk About Town to run errands and to generally be part of the community. I use “weekly” in a loose way, since the last time we did our Walkabout was before Thanksgiving, which was before the Pukefest, which was before the vacation, which was before the [...]

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I didn’t realize I had so much cleavage when wearing my sports bra and tank top, until this morning as I got the kids dressed and ready to go to the gym – Thomas kept trying to stuff beads into my “pocket.”

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Thomas is a lazy slug who sleeps in late. Every morning that Ruthie has preschool, I have to wake him up in order for us all to leave in time. Usually I send Ruthie upstairs to tickle his ear – a sweet wake-up tradition I created after she burst into his room one morning, flicked [...]

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