being prepared is half the battle or why Thomas will never poop in his pants again.


I am writing this from the parking lot of Thomas’ preschool, sitting in the passenger seat of the car (The driver’s seat does not slide back far enough for me to sit with my laptop. Or perhaps my belly is too big).

Despite the fact Thomas is STILL not potty trained, he started preschool two mornings a week last month. The school is pretty lax regarding their three year olds starting the year potty trained, but state law will not allow teachers to change his pull-up. This means if he poops they call me to come take care of it.

So far I’ve been called in the middle of a run on the treadmill, in the middle of a meeting at the Target Starbucks (which is the consumer’s equivalent of chocolate and peanut butter), and while paying bills at my dining room table.

Do you know how frustrating it is to THINK you have two hours to yourself, only to have a third of that time eaten up by a double round trip commute and diaper duty time? Have you ever stopped running without a cool down, then started up again half an hour later without a warm up? I don’t recommend it – your muscles will coil up like a tightened spring.

I’ve tried sticker charts, I’ve tried candy bribes, I’ve tried fifteen minute timers, I’ve tried going cold turkey – the kid is just. not. interested. in using the toilet. I mean, he uses it sometimes, of course, but most of the time the mere suggestion of sitting on the potty induces a fit of whining and floor flopping of grand proportions.

As I said on twitter one day, I wish I could send him off like a Labrador to be trained by a professional.

The inconvenience of this arrangement nearly caused me to pull him out of preschool. It just didn’t seem worth all the hassle, and he would still have preschool next year anyway.

Until I had a brilliant idea.

Ever since school started and my summer babysitting swap ended with a friend, I haven’t found a decent chunk of time to write. So I decided to kill two birds with one stone and sit in the car with my laptop, writing. If I get the call for a diaper change, I’m merely steps from his classroom, and I’m only interrupted for a few minutes.

Admit it. You are jealous of my ability to adapt.

So here I am, feeling a bit eccentric, yet very pleased with myself for creating a win/win situation (also, brainstorming ways to keep warm). Though as I’m sure you can imagine, Thomas has not pooped once during class any of the times I sat out here freezing my arse off.

What do you think the odds are he would poop as soon as I drive off to get a latte at the Target Starbucks?


4 thoughts on “being prepared is half the battle or why Thomas will never poop in his pants again.”

  1. I also have a 3 year old boy who is also not going for the whole potty thing. The preschool I wanted him to go to won’t do pull ups, end of story. I would love to send him off to potty boot camp! If you find one, please tell me! 🙂

    I like your plan. I hope you get lots of writing done.

  2. Jen, I sent my oldest son Brandon (now 35) to preschool mainly to give me a break. It was really close in distance and I cannot remember having a #2 problem with him (age-related for me, I guess). Then second son Eric, two years younger, I decided not to send him to preschool. He could have gone easily; however, I decided it was not worth the hassle and knew the time would fly by so very fast. I just enjoyed the brief time with him and he turned out to be Mr. Social Butterfly all through school, even to a fault. Maybe it is time to reconsider sending him … he just may not be ready. I think sometimes this entire push to go to school, even preschool, is a bit much. Just gauge the hassle and know he will grow up despite all our efforts. Love, Jeanie

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