This line from my favorite Mountain Goats song (called âThis Yearâ) has become my mantra. I play it in the car as loud as the kids can stand it, and I sing along with the bandâs signature melodic shouting as I drive around running errands. The very nature of their music releases tension. Iâm obsessing [...]
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Iâve been super busy finishing up the painting in Bryanâs new office, so all my spare time has been devoted to that and the mounds of laundry that piled up after traveling for two weeks. With Bryan gone so much Iâm left with little energy for things that re-create me, and spend most of my [...]
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Life seems uninteresting these days from a blogging perspective, though it is FANTASTIC from the survival aspect. Iâve said this before, but itâs easier for me to write about things Iâm complaining about or struggling with. Depression? Martial strife? This is the stuff great stories are born from â the setup, upset, reset. When was [...]
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I owe a large part of my recent bout with sanity to Bryan. It was during our recent trip to Portland when I realized how much influence he has had on my level of peace during the last few months. I think the biggest thing for me was his taking over the bulk of the [...]
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Posted in Depression, Learning on Mar 4th, 2006 2 Comments »
Yesterday a few cogs dropped into place and opened a door in my mind. It was like that episode of Lost when Claire begins to remember what happened to her during the two weeks she was kidnapped â the Ah-Ha! moments came throughout the day, each triggered by another thought or something I saw. Since [...]
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Yesterday afternoon I unleashed the Fiery Fury on Ruthie. As I relayed the story to Bryan when he got home from work, we found ourselves laughing at the absurdity of the events â something I was not able to do in the heat of the moment. Not that my rage is funny, but that we [...]
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This was the week I was to start back up at the gym. I even worked it into my calendar so I wouldnât be tempted to brush it off. But alas, my children both came down with congested, croup-y coughs last night making me unable to leave them in the gymâs childcare room. But despite [...]
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Last year when New Yearâs Eve fell on a Friday, and most businesses were closed that day, our furnace crapped out on us Thursday night around dinner time. We were left with no heat in our home over a long holiday weekend, which also happened to be the coldest weekend of the winter that year. [...]
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Please allow me to be a little sappy tonight. I am awash with love for all things friendship right now. Iâm lying in bed with a homemade warm, aromatic, herbal heating pad keeping my toes warm, listening to the ultimate friend gift â a mix âtapeâ (a CD actually, but like just like I canât [...]
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Posted in Depression on Nov 28th, 2005 3 Comments »
The church I attend places a high value on art, creativity, and congregational participation in the worship experience. There are many opportunities for our members to share original poetry, responsive readings, essays, and songs during the course of the service. Our pastor has been preaching through the book of Hebrews, and yesterdayâs passage was Hebrews [...]
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Look at me go. I just figured out how to change the font, making it easier to read. Plus I updated my Blog Pile list a little. I needed something mundane and technical to focus on to calm the crazies in my head. It seems to have done the trick since the anxiety has left [...]
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Iâve been moving slow this week. Bryan was gone all weekend at a geek thing so Ruthie and I spent a lot of time in our pajamas. And today I donât have a car to go anywhere, so once again we are still in our pajamas. It seems Iâm becoming That Wife who lets herself [...]
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Posted in Depression, Everyday on Sep 8th, 2005 1 Comment »
I am ALWAYS TIRED. The other day I was flipping through a magazine and saw a full page ad for Zoloft. I read the tiny print at the bottom just for kicks and it said the side effects were, among other things, drowsiness and insomnia. It seems like this combination would perpetuate the insanity that [...]
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Posted in Depression on Aug 27th, 2005 No Comments »
[I wrote this on Saturday while I was âbetween websites.â Although it was written on Saturday, I wasnât able to post it until 8/31/05] My website is still in Internet Purgatory, yet I continue to write in hopes that it will one day be read. As it turns out, my depression episode was apparently due [...]
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Posted in Depression on Aug 26th, 2005 No Comments »
[I wrote this on Friday while I was 'between websites.' Although it was written on Friday, I wasn't able to post it until 8/31/05] I am in a bad head space today and it is not helping matters that my blog is in Internet Purgatory. It is not helping that Bryan is meeting with important [...]
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