Life seems uninteresting these days from a blogging perspective, though it is FANTASTIC from the survival aspect. I’ve said this before, but it’s easier for me to write about things I’m complaining about or struggling with. Depression? Martial strife? This is the stuff great stories are born from – the setup, upset, reset. When was the last time you saw a movie about a really happy guy that led a really happy life and nothing tragic or embarrassing ever happened to him?
Without the torturous confusion swirling around in my head I have to shift gears – I don’t need the introspection so much anymore. Nice things happen to me every day. Funny things happen to me every day. I am surrounded by nice people and good vibes. And the beauty is, I can see that now.
In my recovery group (I have that anger thing, remember?) we were recently talking about things we were thankful for, and things we’ve been ungrateful for in the past, and for many of us the same things were on both lists. How messed up is that? My daughter is amazing, and smart, and tenacious, and I oppressed that in her because of my own selfishness and lack of patience.
When I started this blog my step-dad was dying, I was pregnant with a son that would carry on his name, I didn’t like my husband very much, and life looked a little bleak. Hence, The Pile I’m Standing In.
I still stand by the name and the reason behind it, because this life will always be a pile to trudge through. But lately I have been able to see more of the joy that comes with living this life.
Ruthie is expressing herself more these days. Whenever we leave a friend’s house, she is quick to announce, “I HAD FUN PLAYING WITH KIDS, MOM!” She has a thankful heart. She finds joy in everyday things.
She is a good mentor.