as if I’d never started before

as if I’d never started before

Call me morbid
Call me pale
I’ve spent six years on your trail
Six full years on your trail

Call me morbid
Call me pale
I’ve spent six years on your trail
Six full years of my life on your trail
– “Half a Person” as sung by The Welcome Wagon

I was at the gym this morning feeling motivated and invigorated, imagining myself 40lbs lighter by summer and training for a 5K.

Then I tweaked my knee on the way to the locker room and could barely walk.

I wonder how many times I’ve started over? Set goals? Had hopes? I pondered this as I stretched after my workout, and this song came on the iPod.

Have I spent six years chasing the tail of success? Is that morbid or tenacious? For a split second I felt discouraged and frustrated by my broken record self promises. But then I resolved to put it all behind me and start fresh – as if I’d never started before.

It is, after all, a new day, a new year, a new birth.

4 thoughts on “as if I’d never started before

  1. ‘Half a Person’ is by The Smiths. C’mon Jen, you were around in the eighties. That’s almost as bad as saying ‘When the Stars go Blue’ is by The Corrs . . .

  2. So sorry to offend, but I was not cool enough in the 80’s to listen to The Smiths. Didn’t you hear? – My parents were baptists. 🙂

    So alas, this is my first hearing of the song, and I guess I didn’t look closely at the CD jacket.

  3. Is it wrong to suggest swimming as an alternative? I think you could acheive your goals, maintain some joint health, and keep moving forward– all with a simple method switch. I know you like the elliptical/treadmill, but what was the definition of insanity again?? Instead of looking for a different outcome, try a different approach. This is inspiring me to abandon my lay-around-and-complain approach and get back in the pool myself. 🙂

  4. LOL – no, it would not be wrong. 🙂 L.A. Fitness didn’t actually have a water aerobics instructor for the longest time, and the two weeks I tried swimming laps produced a huge crick in my neck that required money spent on a chiropractor. They have an “aqua fit” class now, so maybe I’ll check it out – though the other reason I love walking/running is the mental re-creation I get, which I don’t experience when swimming. Maybe I’ll have to get that another way.

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