Woo Hoo!

Ass Minus Ten Pounds

Last Thursday I was discouraged because I hadn’t lost any weight. I wasn’t too worried about it because I knew I had splurged a little on Mother’s Day when a few men made their wives a fantastically decadent brunch complete with Mimosa’s. Also, I ate my gift of chocolate covered raisins liberally (my favorite!!) all week long. Plus I had several Margarita’s a day in celebration of the warm sunny weather.

But still, it was disappointing.

Well, HELLO MONDAY! Perhaps I was bloated last week, because today I am two pounds down! Which makes a total of…. (drum roll, please)…. TEN POUNDS LOST!

And how did I celebrate? I worked my ASS OFF (quite literally, if you think about it)! Today on the Monotonous Machine of Monotony and on the treadmill, I discovered the ‘random’ button, which keeps my muscles and heart rate from getting lazy and into too much of a rhythm because I’m basically going up and down hills.

And? And! I JOGGED the last three minutes of my treadmill routine! Once I got over the distraction of my ass fat bouncing wildly like a pile of jello sitting on a washing machine, my endorphins were so high I was doing that cheesy grinning with my eyes closed thing.

Yes, thank you, thank you. I am warmly receiving your cyber pats on my back for a job well done.

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