The True Meaning of Valentine’s Day

The True Meaning of Valentine’s Day

I should have known what I was getting into. Friends had warned me. I saw the signs, but ignored them. Thinking I was a beautiful swan diver, I belly flopped dramatically. And painfully.

For the Valentine’s party in Ruthie’s preschool class on Tuesday we were told to bring valentines for each kid in class, so that’s what I did. Over the weekend we bought Go! Diego, Go! valentines, Ruthie helped me fold them, and she added the stickers, and together we remembered all the names of the kids in her class as I wrote them on the outside of each valentine. We had a lovely time doing a project together.

Only to realize that every other Super Mom in the class had either created homemade valentines or had attached a handful of candy in cute cellophane bags and tied with pretty ribbons. They were masterpieces of beauty.

But don’t you worry – I’ve got your numbers now, bitches. You’d better be prepared for the biggest f-ing chocolate bunny Easter has ever seen! Your kid will be high on sugar until the Fourth of July!

Valentine's Day Candy Thief

All was quiet in the living room yesterday as Bryan, Ruthie, and I finished eating lunch. Suddenly realizing I heard nothing from The Boy, I asked Bryan to peak around the corner to see what he was up to.

Bryan choked on his soda and subtly motioned for me to come see – without alerting Ruthie. He had busted into Ruthie’s stash of candy from her party at school, and had successfully eaten all the chocolate from one package before we realized what had happened. Fortunately Ruthie had not taken inventory of her loot, so we were able to clean up the mess before she even knew what happened, averting World War III.

Valentine's Day candy breach

Ruthie has recently attended three birthday parties in addition to the Valentine’s Day party at school – all which provided her with copious amounts of candy. In order to control how much and when she ate said candy, I stashed her stash in a basket on top of our very tall refrigerator.

As you can see, The Girl is resourceful.

4 thoughts on “The True Meaning of Valentine’s Day

  1. I think both your kids are resourceful…that would have most definately caused at least WWIII at our house. I would hate to see what Josh would do with a step stool like that, seeing as the child can scale the fridge to get the last Krispy Krack, oh, excuse me, Krispy Kreme donut. We have seriously limited the intake of those things in our house 🙂

    The pictures are very cute!

  2. Oh goodness, I can barely handle the competition from strange mothers (ie, not friends of mine) re: childhood development and the need to constantly compare their kids, their friends’ kids, their mother’s kids, and all the kids that ever were, with mine. Bad or good. I am NOT even close to being mentally healthy enough to take on the school moms. I mean, take on healthily and without strong language. Good times.

  3. Hilarious! Yes, I’ll admit to stuffing our simple, store-bought valentines into heart-decorated plastic bags filled with candy. And I’ll also admit to going through my son’s stash with smug satisfaction that this year, we were not the lamest valentine. In fact, we may have even made the top 5. Not, of course, that I’m ranking them or anything. Oh no no no…….

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