I should have known what I was getting into. Friends had warned me. I saw the signs, but ignored them. Thinking I was a beautiful swan diver, I belly flopped dramatically. And painfully.
For the Valentine’s party in Ruthie’s preschool class on Tuesday we were told to bring valentines for each kid in class, so that’s what I did. Over the weekend we bought Go! Diego, Go! valentines, Ruthie helped me fold them, and she added the stickers, and together we remembered all the names of the kids in her class as I wrote them on the outside of each valentine. We had a lovely time doing a project together.
Only to realize that every other Super Mom in the class had either created homemade valentines or had attached a handful of candy in cute cellophane bags and tied with pretty ribbons. They were masterpieces of beauty.
But don’t you worry – I’ve got your numbers now, bitches. You’d better be prepared for the biggest f-ing chocolate bunny Easter has ever seen! Your kid will be high on sugar until the Fourth of July!
All was quiet in the living room yesterday as Bryan, Ruthie, and I finished eating lunch. Suddenly realizing I heard nothing from The Boy, I asked Bryan to peak around the corner to see what he was up to.
Bryan choked on his soda and subtly motioned for me to come see – without alerting Ruthie. He had busted into Ruthie’s stash of candy from her party at school, and had successfully eaten all the chocolate from one package before we realized what had happened. Fortunately Ruthie had not taken inventory of her loot, so we were able to clean up the mess before she even knew what happened, averting World War III.
Ruthie has recently attended three birthday parties in addition to the Valentine’s Day party at school – all which provided her with copious amounts of candy. In order to control how much and when she ate said candy, I stashed her stash in a basket on top of our very tall refrigerator.
As you can see, The Girl is resourceful.