The Biting Incident

Yesterday Ruthie was bitten by a child who shall remain nameless.

This is ironic considering that not an hour before The Incident, the Vicious Biter’s mom and I were conversing about the evil nature of our toddlers.

For instance, over the weekend we took Ruthie on a special Thomas the Train ride with thousands of other toddlers, giving me the opportunity to compare my parenting outcomes with all the perfect parents who were in attendance with their perfect children.

I discovered that I am, quite honestly, a failure.

While other children sat contentedly in their seats, oohh-ing and awww-ing and pointing out the window, MY CHILD was the only one on the train attempting to hurl herself out the window so she could see better. I wanted to rip the belt off Bryan’s pants and strap her to the seat.

She is also evil to her friends. She will steal toys from her friends and stash them in drawers, or under pillows, or in boxes so The Victim cannot retrieve them and begins to scream. She then stands back to survey her handiwork as The Victim throws a level 4 fit right in front of her.

The other day she took an apple slice from one of her little minions, and when he came back to her in search of it, SHE ACTUALLY STOPPED CHEWING until he walked away! What have I created???

For this reason I am fully aware that that, although venting one’s frustration through biting is not appropriate, my Evil Blond Girl most likely provoked The Incident.

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