When Bryan was traveling to San Jose twice a month last year, I never had to make a lunch for him to take to work. He was either gone, or he was working from home and ate whatever we all ate.
Prior to his year of traveling when he commuted into Seattle, I HATED making his lunch. It wasn’t so much the task I hated as much as the nuisance I found it to be that I felt obligated to do it. I had a bad attitude, and was a very passive aggressive bitch about it. I would “forget” or complain or wait until he was putting on his coat then blame him for not having a lunch because he wouldn’t wait for it.
Yeah. Real nice.
(My memoir is going to be a “tell all” all right, but the only bitch getting outed will be ME.)
It just occurred to me tonight as I zipped up his lunch bag and stuck it in the fridge that I’ve actually found joy in sending Bryan off to work with a good lunch. Sure, sometimes I’m tired, or I’m sick of being in the kitchen, or it totally slips my mind – but my attitude is different about it now.
I love taking care of Bryan in this way.
I know about four of you who will totally get the significance of this, and the rest of you are probably like, Why can’t he make his own damn lunch?! But for me? And for him? And the needs and issues and insecurities we both have? And the road blocks we’ve faced in the past? Trust me that this is a huge heart change for me, and a huge blessing to Bryan that goes way beyond matching plastic containers filled with last night’s leftovers.
Two years ago Bryan and I were stuck in a very tight spot, and at the time I would have never imagined we would have the relationship we do now. It’s not perfect, and we still hit our road blocks, but we are no longer contending against one another. In tough situations we are listening to each other more, and working together toward the same end goal: reconciliation.
You may find yourself in your own “tight spot” with a spouse or friend or relative. DON’T GIVE UP. The Great Reconciler wants to see your relationship restored, and he is Able. I know, because I’ve seen it.