Cue eerie music in the background of this scene…
Oct 1st, 2007 by jenzug
During a string of particularly bad days concerning Ruthie’s behavior this summer, I vented to my girlfriend that I thought I was raising a future serial killer. At the time she was bullying and intimidating other kids, and finding great enjoyment in watching the reaction of others as they writhed in frustration under her torturous powers.
It’s like an experiment to her, a social experiment – perhaps she’s on the road toward a sociology research degree. Or maybe it’s pure entertainment and all she needs is a comfy chair and a bag of popcorn.
Regardless, I really do think she enjoys pushing other people’s buttons, then watching the ensuing explosion. Reducing others (including her mother) to a fit of tears is her idea of a good time. And the remorse? Oiy, the lack of remorse is, at best, disturbing.
So I vented to my friend, exaggerating, I’m sure, in my emotionally heightened feelings of failure as a mother – wondering, also, which gene pool this behavior came from.
The very pragmatic advice my friend gives me?
“Eh, you shouldn’t worry. If she starts torturing small animals, THEN you have something to worry about.”
Um, do TOY animals count in that equation???
Be warned: what you see here is not my best work. It is what Anne Lamott describes in Bird By Bird as a series of “shitty first drafts.” Blogging dragged me kicking and screaming out of creative constipation by getting me to actually write. So I do that. A lot. Without worrying about every word choice or comma placement.
Want to know more? Read my full 
I think I just peed a bit from laughing.
thanks for that.
One of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time. I shared it with folks in my office. Names were changed to protect the innocent!
[...] I cross-posted one of my recent essays over at A Wild Ride, you can check it out here. I posted it just as it was on This Pile, but I changed the title. Sometimes when I can’t think of a creative title, I just slap something down because I’m anxious to get a post up. It wasn’t until later that I thought of a better title than “Cue eerie music in the background…” [...]