This is me. And that is my ass. And my arm, and several of my chins.
I’m not really sure why I thought it was a good idea for Bryan to take a picture of me on the ferry this weekend, but clearly I was out of my mind.
I’ve gained weight since January when I started working. I haven’t gained any weight in the five years since I had Thomas, but sitting at a computer for most of the day is working against me. I guess the daily rigor of being a full time household manager was enough to maintain my weight, eh? Who knew?
I love to run. I love the endorphin rush, the discipline, the breathing, the steady rhythm, and the way it de-stressed me between the shoulder blades. However, my body is soft and my muscles are weak. Any time I try running, my body breaks down and betrays my will.
To help strengthen my muscles and learn better posture – and quite honestly to break it up a little – I thought I’d try yoga. There’s a HOT yoga studio near my house, and I went for the first time last night.
This is what I learned:
- It’s hot in there.
- Really hot.
- The ice water in my stainless steal water bottle was luke warm by the end of class.
- That’s hot.
- I placed my mat in what I thought was the back of the room.
- It turned out to be the front.
- The entire class got to watch me fail over and over again.
- Ninety percent of yoga is mental.
- I wanted to quit so many times, but pressed through.
- My mind tried to talk me into quitting.
- I had to quiet it with my will.
- I have a better idea of the way I’m supposed to stand.
- It is not the way I’m standing in this picture.
- My feet are tiny and my hips are ginormous.
- Basic physics will tell you I tipped over a lot.
- Yoga instructors really like their short shorts.
- I was not able to do some of the poses.
- I couldn’t get my fat out of the way.
- I didn’t let this paralyze me.
- One position made me fart.
- Actually, I farted twice.
- When you bend your body in half and squeeze, these things happen.
- One hour in I panicked.
- I thought I was going to suffocate.
- Yoga is ninety percent mental.
- I finished the class.
- I will probably go back on Wednesday.
- Unless I’m too sore to get out of bed.