Up until Ruthie entered kindergarten, all her friends were the kids of my friends. We’ve had our biting incidents, our fights over toys, and the he said/she saids with these friends, but I always know the other kids well, and I have the luxury of knowing my parenting style is consistent with my friends’ style.
Enter Kindergarten, Land of the Catty Girls and Cat Fights.
Sending Ruthie “out there” among kids I don’t know, whose parents I don’t know, for long stretches of the day where I cannot press my ear to the door for a listen is… challenging.
And time consuming.
Today I spent an hour sorting out an incident on the bus that I didn’t witness, and that I technically didn’t have an hour to spend sorting out. But alas, other things must be put on hold so my daughter and I can walk through the stuff of life.
I have Ruthie’s story, and I have the bus driver’s story. They don’t line up exactly, but I feel I have enough of the story to deal with it. I stick to the larger issues of Ruthie’s heart – how does she respond? What should she have done differently? How can she be more loving, even in conflict?
What I find, is if I stop what I’m doing and sit with Ruthie on the couch, giving her my full attention, she finally lets down her defensive guard and tells me the truth. I have created a safe environment for her, not a distracted, second class environment.
Sometimes the dishes can (and should) wait.
2 thoughts on “CSI: Kindergarten”
Welcome to the world of girls! Horrible for me and for Karen. The boys were a breeze with their friends compared to the exclusiveness of girls. I have a book for you that helped me to cope, but unfortunately, not to conquer. It is called “The Friendships of Women” by Dee Breslin. It covers little girls through big girls and it is terribly honest and convicting. While realizing we are wonderfully made by God, it tells one why we are so “territorial” and changing friends every other week, etc. Still infuriates me to see girls leave out other girls, but when your daughter is on the left out end of it all, it hurt even more. The boys are maybe get mad a little, punch the other guy, and be done with it. Girls nurse the grudge and hurt emotionally, which is far more lasting.
Awesome, awesome, awesome!