Better Off Abstinent

Fat Free Cheese

I grew up in Minnesota, the Land-O-Lakes, Dairy Country, and neighbor to the Wisconsin Cheese Heads. Asking me to cut down on my cheese consumption is like asking a Packer fan to hug a Viking.

It’s not going to happen.

So in order to accommodate my need for cheese AND my desire to continue the decline of my pant size, I purchased a package of fat free shredded cheese.

At first I didn’t notice a significant difference. I was just happy to still be eating cheese and not have it take up half my calorie allotment for the day. But today? Today I was in need of some comfort. You know how it is: the gray, the drizzle, the cozy jammies. These things all add up to NACHOS!

So I laid out a modest portion of chips, sprinkled on my fat free cheese, loaded it with green onions and tomatoes to help fill it out, and popped it in the microwave.

Oh. My. Gosh. Fat free cheese is dead.

It does not melt. Its lovely orange color turns gray and pallor when warmed. It tastes like cardboard. I’m not sure I could ever look at another shred of fat free cheese again.

Forgive me, Wisconsin, but your skinny cows have issues.

One thought on “Better Off Abstinent”

  1. Oooh I hate fat free cheese too. When we were doing the South Beach diet religiously it was the one thing I wouldn’t give on. He said to eat only fat free cheese and dairy products but I just couldn’t. Good luck finding a new comfort food (or finding comfort in half as much).

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