About Me (2009)

(updated January 2009)

I am now in my fourth year of blogging. Four. That’s like, I don’t know, like being a High School Senior – all the freshman stare and think you’re cool, but you still can’t get into college parties.

writing at the wine barI’ve spent the last few weeks printing out every essay I’ve ever written in preparation for a project, starting from the beginning. What a mess I was, both in writing style and life. I’m surprised even one of you continues to read, or that I haven’t gotten more than just a few emails begging me to medicate.

But looking at the past gives me vision for the future. I like what I’ve chosen to write about over the years – I think it resonates with others, even if our circumstances are different. I may have stumbled over the words, but my stuff has good bones – it only needs fleshing out.

In fact, I thought about making that my theme for this year, fleshing out, but then decided it sounds too Hannibal Lector if taken out of context. So I’ll settle on something less horrific: reach.

I’m not real strong in the area of consistency – I don’t have that fight, that will, that determination blockbuster movies are made of. I’ve got more of a < shrug > in me, an “eh,” or “whatever.”

Some people call it “lazy,” but I prefer to use the term “flexible.” It has a better ring to it, don’t you think?

I’m feeling the need to challenge myself more, to get off my haunches and reach for the next thing. Last year was about maintaining balance in many areas made healthy – the main one being my sanity. I think I succeeded. Or at least passed with style. At any rate, I’m tired of all that static naval gazing. I’d like to stop thinking about myself so much and move on. Move forward.

This year I want to submit articles into publications. I want to start a weekly feature on my blog to practice that hair pulling deadline experience. I want to love graciously as I’ve been loved.

That’s all.

It’s kind of nice going into a new year with my head high, my confidence intact, and worries of depression and self loathing packed away in the garage for the foreseeable future.

2008 was very kind to my family – we found Home in so many ways. To each of you who makes our Home and resides in our Neighborhood, thank you. We should make 2009 a year long block party, don’t you think?

As always, feel free to contact me at jenzug (at) gmail (dot) com.

My previous About Page.
And the one before that.
And the one before that.

8 thoughts on “About Me (2009)”

  1. hi. holy cow. it’s been a long time since 2000. i found your blog through a comment bryan left on the “reforming the feminine” blog. oh, sorry. it’s ashley…used to go by dutcher (got married a few years ago., so the last name is different now.) i lived at noonday for most of 2000. i hope you would remember me. i have been trying to reconnect with folks and mars hill is just so gigantic now, it’s hard to find people who have been around for a real long time. anyway. i guess i don’t really know what else to say. i am back in california, have been for a bit over five years now. i stay home with our 2 1/2 year old daughter, hannah. that’s the short version. (i have a “blog” but it’s pretty lame. it will give you a very tiny glimpse of the past few years.) i’d love to hear from you.


  2. I’d be around no matter what, of course, but I am really looking forward to being around during this new phase of Jen. It is a good thing, brought about by some very hard things. I am so glad to bear witness to the fruit of some of our hard work in the last few years.

    I love you, my friend, and I am so proud of the person you are becoming.

  3. Hey hey you!! i am too lazy (aka exhausted but I will never admit to being weak, just useless) to read your blog, which i do love, tonight but do want to say hi and see how you are doing out there. wow, how many clauses can i toss into a sentence?

    Life out here in Colorado is all good, a little annoying with torn bicep and partially detached achilles, but you know all fingers and toes so no real complaints. Hope you are thriving!

    all the best,

  4. So great reading this. Right now I’m wading through a shitty pool of grief and anger…you give me hope that someday I’ll get to maintenance mode!

  5. Love the idea of a theme — great timing too. 2007 as horried for me — a killer; and 2008 was so transition filled I sometimes think I’ve drowned. Need to find a great theme for 2008. Maybe it will be “succeeding” although “catching up” would seem more appropriate — but not as positive. Love your blog. Keep it up; doing a great job.

  6. I’m a new reader…love your blog. I linked over here from a comment you left on Bacon is My Enemy. Something about the post made me think….those people she’s talking about sound like Mars Hill people. And sure enough, it looks like you do go to Mars Hill! Funny. So do I. The Bellevue campus. Anyway, nice to “meet” you.

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