Things in my head today

Things in my head today

I’ve been in a hole of depression the last couple weeks and haven’t been able feel much but utter contempt for myself. Today I began to see just the tiniest sliver of light in my very dark world – light that came through song, and scripture, and a trip to the beach with friends. In no particular order, these are the words that are telling me a story today.

I bought a crap detector
Emptied all my savings
It’s got a hair-trigger feel for the slightest provocation
Not there to spill blood or judge out of line
It’s just a modern convenience to save you some time

Why is joy something I must steal?
Starving skeletons looking for a meal
Out in the graveyard, church bells peal
Earth has no sorrow heaven can’t heal
– Bill Mallonee

Have you gotten what you came for
Did you ever feel ashamed for
Criminal is the name for…
what you’ve done to me

Did you shoot down what you aimed for
Did you ever take the blame for
Criminal is the name for…
what you’ve done to me
– The Call

A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance.”
– Proverbs 28:13 (The Living Bible)

There was a time when I wouldn’t admit what a sinner I was. But my dishonesty made me miserable and filled my days with frustration. All day and all night your hand was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water on a sunny day until I finally admitted all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, “I will confess them to the Lord,” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.
– Psalm 32 3-5 (The Living Bible)

For God was in Christ, restoring the world to himself, no longer counting men’s sins against them but blotting them out. This is the wonderful message he has given us to tell others.
– 2 Corinthians 5:19 (The Living Bible)

You were dead in sins, and your sinful desires were not yet cut away. Then he gave you a share in the very life of Christ, for he forgave all your sins, and blotted out the charges proved against you, the list of his commandments which you had not obeyed. He took this list of sins and destroyed it by nailing it to Christ’s cross. In this way God took away Satan’s power to accuse you of sin, and God openly displayed to the whole world Christ’s triumph at the cross where your sins were all taken away.
– Colossians 2:13-15 (The Living Bible)

So there is now no condemnation awaiting those who belong to Christ Jesus.
– Romans 8:1 (The Living Bible)

Days Like This
Van Morrison

When it’s not always raining
there’ll be days like this
When there’s noone complaining
there’ll be days like this
Everything falls into phase
like the flick of a switch
Well my momma told me
there’ll be days like this

When you don’t need to worry
there’ll be days like this
When noone’s in a hurry
there’ll be days like this
When you don’t get betrayed
by that old Judas kiss
Oh my momma told me
there’ll be days like this

When you don’t need an answer
there’ll be days like this
When you don’t meet a chancer
there’ll be days like this
When all the parts of the puzzle
start to look like they fit
Then I must remember
there’ll be days like this

When everyone is upfront
and they’re not playing tricks
When you don’t have no freeloaders
out to get their kicks in
When it’s nobody’s business
the way that you wanna live
I just have to remember
there’ll be days like this

When no one steps on my dreams
there’ll be days like this
When people understand what I mean
there’ll be days like this
When you bring out the changes
of how everything is
Well my momma told me
there’ll be days like this

Oh my momma told me
there’ll be days like this
Well my momma told me
there’ll be days like this
Oh my momma told me
there’ll be days like this
Oh my momma told me
there’ll be days like this

How much of this was meant to be
How much the work of the devil
How far can one man’s eyes really see
In these days of toil and trouble
– Bill Mallonee

When I’m broken, see what happens
Arms wide open, see what happens
When I’m broken, see what happens
See what happens to me.
– Bill Mallonee (of Vigilantes of Love)

One thought on “Things in my head today

  1. Jen, I understand the depression thing. I’m glad God has brought you some inspiration. Sometimes all I need is a little ray of light in the middle of the muck to remind me it will be worth slogging through to the other side.

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