A friend shared this post on Facebook awhile back, and itÂ resonated with me:
When folks gather around a system of shared beliefs, the price of acceptance in the group is usually agreement, which means the greatest valueâ€”stated or notâ€”is being right. Unfortunately, this often creates an atmosphere of fear and performance, which in turn invites conformity.
But when people gather around a shared need for healing, the price of acceptance in the group is usually vulnerability, which means the greatest valueâ€”stated or notâ€”is being real. This tends to foster an atmosphere of safety and participation, which in turn invites community.
I’ve always gravitated toward vulnerability, so it doesn’t surprise meÂ thatÂ I’m drawn to all kinds of relationships, regardless ofÂ racial, socio-economic, orÂ religious perspectives — though I’ve never quite put my finger on describing it this way until I contemplatedÂ the above quote.
As I reflect on my relationships — both intimate and less so — Â the common denominator in most of my friendships doesn’t appear to be a specific culture, belief system, or even Jesus.
I think I just like people who are real.
You can be real about being gay or straight, you can be real about believing or not believing in Jesus, you can be real about being rich or poor — just be real, and we’ll probably be friends.