so this happened…

Waiting for a tow truck.

Yesterday on our way home from a weekend retreat in the mountains, our car broke down on I-90 in the middle of nowhere. Here’s a list of events as I remember them:

  • As we left Sundcadia lodge, The Teenagers we had with us said they were hungry. Ice cream seemed the best remedy, so we stopped at Dairy Queen in Cle Elum .
  • I ordered a small MudPie Blizzard after considering whether or not we’d be home before my dairy intolerance issues kicked in.
  • Bryan asked, Which way to the freeway? And I said, Turn left. And he said, Left? And I said, Yes, left. And he was all, Okayyyyy. And when we got to the freeway entrance I was all, SEE, I TOLD YOU IT WAS LEFT.
  • Five minutes into the drive Bryan says, Whoa! The car is overheating! And a billow of white smoke from the engine engulfs us and I’m all OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH THE CHIIIIIIIILLDREENNNN!
  • We pull over and I yell EVERYBODY OUT! EVERYBODY OUT! QUICK, EVERYBODY OUT! because I think the car is about to explode Hollywood style. And we all get out except for Ruthie who is crying hysterically in the way back while holding her hot fudge sundae because she’s stuck under a pile of pillows and sleeping bags.
  • I evacuated my laptop bag before rescuing my daughter. But in my defense I thought she was fairly self sufficient to save herself, and did go back to get her.
  • I am completely incapable of making decisions under pressure by the side of the freeway, especially when my husband is talking to me AT THE SAME TIME as the tow truck guy, but aforementioned husband will not simply talk to the tow truck guy himself because his ears are clogged with pool water.
  • Small town auto parts stores close at 3pm Sundays, or 5 minutes before you break down. Whichever comes first.
  • I began to wonder if my diary intolerance issues would kick in as we waited by the side of the freeway.
  • But I was thankful it wasn’t pouring down rain like it was the day before.
  • Enterprise Car Rental in Ellensburg is not open on Sundays, but Dollar is available 24/7.
  • God bless Rodeo Town Taxi who shuttles the drunk and stranded around Eastern Washington.
  • My kids screamed at every horse, cow, and barn between Cle Elum and Ellensburg – about 25 miles of open road. We are DEEP into the city life, people.
  • The guy who owns the Dollar Car Rental in Ellensburg is a one-man show. As we signed papers he said, “Just bring her back with a full tank and make good choices between now and then.” To which I said, “Sounds like you have kids that are driving age.”
  • We ate dinner at Perkins. Equally horrifying, the only cheese they have is American Cheese, and they do not serve beer.
  • This is where my dairy intolerance issues finally kicked in.
  • I drove home (see previous comment re pool water in Bryan’s ear), and we listened to dance music.
  • Thomas the Chatterer never stopped talking during the whole ordeal, ate pancakes for dinner, then totally crashed after a berry syrup sugar high.
  • Ruthie can hardly wait to tell her friends at school what happened.
  • This had the potential to be The Worst Day Ever, but it was actually kinda fun. Except for the part where Bryan was all Did you call the tow guy? Did you call the rental company? Did you find out when the auto parts store closed? Did you call a taxi? and I almost took a Dairy Queen spoon shank to his pool water infested ear.

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