1. Said loudly on the ferry –
Ruthie: Thomas! Where’s your bus?
Thomas (thinking she said ‘butt,’ he grabs his ass): I put my butt wight hee-ah! (And grabbing his crotch) And my pee-pee’s wight hee-ah!
2. Bryan and Ruthie leave to get a table at Red Robin while Thomas and I wait ten minutes in the car at a meter (don’t ask). While I’m trying to pay the meter, Thomas continues to break loose and run straight for the teriyaki restaurant we parked in front of. Each time I drag him back to the meter he wails and throws a fit about how he’s hungry and wants to see his daddy. Despite my repeatedly telling him that daddy is at the OTHER restaurant, i still have to drag him across the street kicking and screaming, and looking looking like a child kidnapper as he screams, “NO! I WANT TO SEE DADDY! DADDY IS BACK THERE!”
3. Thomas attempting to steal an apple out of the hand of a homeless man as he eats it while panhandling on the street corner. I drag Thomas away from the homeless man as he screams, “I WANT AN APPLE! I HUNGRY!”
4. The parade of bicycles that swarmed down First Avenue toward Pioneer Square. Ruthie is mesmerized, and thankfully doesn’t notice the two men who are riding buck naked.
5. Killing time in the Magic Mouse Toy Store, hearing Thomas’ voice in the next room even though he’s standing right next to me. We discover there is a toy parrot that repeats everything you say, annoyingly, and seemingly from far away rooms and around corners. Bryan and I brainstorm who we can buy this parrot for… just for kicks.
6. Ruthie and Thomas pretending to drive the race car video machine –
Thomas: We ah home, baby!
Ruthie: Okay daddy!
7. Thomas entertaining the ferry crowd with his rousing interpretation of giving Ruthie Time Outs, which then turn into wrestling matches filled with giggles.
8. As we approach the ferry dock at Bainbridge Island, I tell the kids we are going to crash. Several heads turn, and grown ups gasp that I would scare my children so. But I know my children. And I smile smugly as they jump up and down with delight, screaming, “WE’RE GOING TO CRASH!” over and over again.