Grieving, as observed by michael azzerad

In a recent interview on KUOW’s Sound Focus, music writer Michael Azzerad reflected on his memories of friend, Kurt Cobain. His interview tapes with Cobain are the basis for the documentary, Kurt Cobain: About a Son.

Michael was so devastated by Cobain’s death, that he didn’t listen to these tapes for almost ten years after he died. Eventually, film director AJ Schnack approached him, wanting to hear the interview tapes for his documentary. So he got them out and the two of them listened to them for the first time in many years.

Michael said he was surprised to find he actually enjoyed hearing Kurt’s voice. At the time of the interviews he was relatively healthy, happy, and writing music, and you could hear Michael laughing in the background of the tapes as they talked. He said he wasn’t upset when he heard the tapes, as he thought he would be. Rather, the experience revived the many great memories he had of Cobain, and it made him laugh to think about them.

I was struck by this. Standing in the kitchen baking sugar cookies, I suddenly found myself identifying with a music writer I’ve never heard of who was grieving over the death of a famous friend. I haven’t exactly brought myself to look at any pictures of Gordy, or watch any video I may have of him, either, and I would likely crack if I heard his voice – I do miss his voice. But I was comforted that, over time, my grief will continue to morph from sadness to fondness of memories – as it has already begun to do.

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