I DO see the new year as a time of fresh starts, do-overs, and resets. But by the time January 1st rolls around I am thanking the good Lord Almighty that the holidays are over and I can finally have my life back. This return to Normal usually allows for some tweaking, you know what I mean?
Yes, you do. You know exactly what I mean. While you’re thinking about Normal and all that entails you think to yourself, I haven’t been to the gym for awhile, Maybe I should try to get back there a couple times a week now that I have my life back. And there it is: something new and refreshing added to your routine sometime around the vicinity of January 1st.
But to call it a ‘resolution?’ That’s just so absolute, so firm, so lacking in any sort of back door escape. The only way out of a resolution is to fail.
Back in The Day I associated my Fresh Starts with the fall. It was crisp, and cool, and I had fresh, virgin, spiral notebooks and new shoes, and with the new school year came a new schedule and a new routine and life was innocent and simple once again.
Life is complicated, now. I fuck up so much more, and when I do, so much more is at stake. I don’t have the same beginnings and endings that I did when school started and finals and term papers consumed my life. I had summers to look forward to, and spring breaks, and Christmas – periods of time without responsibility or work. Now, the days and months and years just blur together for me so all I have left is that godforsaken New Year’s Resolution.
So in honor of January, and in keeping with the More Clarity to Jen vibes that have been coming my way, here are a few of my Fresh Starts:
1. I will brush my teeth at least once a day.
2. I will give Ruthie the opportunity to potty train instead of saying, ‘not right now, bitch, I’m too lazy to get off my ass’ when she asks to go pee.
3. I will stop eating chocolate (HA! HA! Just kidding! I just threw that one in there to see if you were paying attention).
4. I will resume my club membership and go at least twice a week.
5. I will try to eat something besides cereal (this may be a stretch, but we’ll give it a whirl).
Very profound, don’t you think?