Comments on: on suffering openly

By: tamara murphy

tamara murphy — Sat, 16 May 2009 23:31:14 +0000

Thank you for this post. I had a similarly painful “break up” with a friend about the same time as you. Pain.

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 14 May 2009 17:04:54 +0000

Margie – I love you. Can’t wait to connect up with you again. We’ve missed CG.

Justin – thanks for the comment. seems you are in an incredible place right now, and can only go up!

Jim – totally. Also? The churchy people often don’t want to walk with someone suffering or struggling. You should check out the link posted by Beth here in the comments.

Kathleen – I hear ya. helpful for weeding out the true friends, though, don’t you think?

Beth Easter – you’ve come out of lurking! Yes, those were fun times. Epiphanies are awesome.

Julie – thank you. I have a backlog of emails and thoughts to catch up on with you!

Beth – the post you linked to is awesome! thanks for sharing. I called it out on twitter, and will probably link on Friday’s Link Love.

By: Beth

Beth — Wed, 13 May 2009 17:29:32 +0000

Just saw this related post and thought you might enjoy it: http://jesusshaped.wordpress.com/2009/05/13/searching-for-a-community-of-strugglers/

By: Julie

Julie — Wed, 13 May 2009 04:07:51 +0000

“But it is their Story of pain and tragedy that allows me to trust them”
So true. I’ve realized this in my own life – when others show their vulnerability is when I feel I can be myself and can connect with them. So sorry for your suffering and pain in relationships. Ugh. But I’m grateful for the redemption, strength and truth you are finding in the limps and scars.

By: Beth Easter

Beth Easter — Wed, 13 May 2009 03:04:04 +0000

Uggg, I can feel the ache in this post and it is interesting to read having seen you in this season. I am glad you are working through this and healing and realizing things… I love you.

By: Beth

Beth — Wed, 13 May 2009 01:53:22 +0000

Jen- this is a fantastic post. I’m so thankful to read about other Christians who admit to suffering, and are honest about it- it’s so refreshing. (That’s part of what I like about Kathleen! Didn’t know you two knew each other, but that’s awesome). Anyway, thank you for such a great post

By: Kathleen Firstenberg

Kathleen Firstenberg — Tue, 12 May 2009 20:55:22 +0000

Love this post. It’s so hard to know how to “suffer well”. There have been times I’ve put myself out there and just shared what I was going though, only to have people look at me like I’m a complete freak, and then avoid me next time around. Other times, I just decided to put up walls and pretend I was just fine, while dying on the inside and wanting to be truly known. Thanks for sharing that I’m not the only one still working this out!

By: Jim Hughes

Jim Hughes — Tue, 12 May 2009 18:24:07 +0000

Nice post about friendship and authenticity (the overused word that you didn’t use). Occurred to me as I was reading that what you have described is often a major problem in our relationships within the church, not to even speak of our relationship with God. Thanks for provoking thought, Jen. Again.

By: Justin Martenstein

Justin Martenstein — Tue, 12 May 2009 17:13:25 +0000

Great essay, Jen – a good summary for where I’m at right now.

For most of my life I’ve been trying to hide my weaknesses from the rest of the world, and now that I’m starting to share (to acknowledge that I’m actually a human being with suffering), I find myself getting stronger. I still pick and choose who I share with, though. And I don’t have the strength to put myself out as publicly as you do, but thanks for sharing your story!

By: Margie Rudick

Margie Rudick — Tue, 12 May 2009 16:34:39 +0000

Thanks for sharing your experience in friends and suffering. I can also relate to being “stand-offish”. I’d like to be more open and friendly because that is really my nature but I am extremely cautious. So much so, that I come off as snobby or just a bitch. Also, I have been your friend that you lost. I grieve my foolishness to push myself away from friends.

On a happier note…
I love reading your blog!

Thanks for suffering openly and reflecting on your experience.

Margie