Posted in Depression, Getting Things Done, Rage Against The Pile on Oct 3rd, 2006 9 Comments »
I’m tired.
Exhausted, actually. Mentally, and physically tired.
I have seven essays drafted on writing, things that I am processing as I push through the TALKING about writing so I may actually get to the business of DOING the writing. But my brain is so mushified that all I can bring [...]
Posted in Depression, Family on Sep 18th, 2006 1 Comment »
I tried writing this weekend, but I just couldn’t make it happen. I stared for quite awhile at my empty computer screen, but nothing was coming to me. I even tried to think of something to write that I wouldn’t necessarily post on my blog, but still… nothing.
With Fall in the air I’ve entered [...]
Posted in Depression, Learning, Rage Against The Pile on Jun 11th, 2006 3 Comments »
This was an interesting week: I think I’ve experienced every emotion that is humanly possible, and I think I did it all with great zeal and exaggeration.
Having transitioned from Zoloft to herbal supplements – which includes Omega 3, hydroxytriptophan, and a multi-vitamin rich in the B’s – I now have 13 pills I take throughout [...]
Posted in Depression, Soundrack on Jun 3rd, 2006 No Comments »
Yesterday I took a long drive to an appointment and enjoyed an entire hour of listening to music in the car. I listened to a mix CD Bryan made, and it was the first opportunity I’d had to really listen to the words. I found myself gravitating toward four specific songs, and skipped [...]
Posted in Depression, Rage Against The Pile on May 6th, 2006 3 Comments »
This line from my favorite Mountain Goats song (called ‘This Year’) has become my mantra. I play it in the car as loud as the kids can stand it, and I sing along with the band’s signature melodic shouting as I drive around running errands. The very nature of their music releases tension.
I’m [...]
Posted in Depression, Getting Things Done on May 1st, 2006 No Comments »
I’ve been super busy finishing up the painting in Bryan’s new office, so all my spare time has been devoted to that and the mounds of laundry that piled up after traveling for two weeks. With Bryan gone so much I’m left with little energy for things that re-create me, and spend most of [...]
Posted in Blog Stuff, Depression, Learning, Ruthie on Apr 11th, 2006 No Comments »
Life seems uninteresting these days from a blogging perspective, though it is FANTASTIC from the survival aspect. I’ve said this before, but it’s easier for me to write about things I’m complaining about or struggling with. Depression? Martial strife? This is the stuff great stories are born from – the setup, upset, [...]
Posted in Depression, Getting Things Done, Until Death Do Us Part (and to the Death it will be) on Mar 8th, 2006 1 Comment »
I owe a large part of my recent bout with sanity to Bryan. It was during our recent trip to Portland when I realized how much influence he has had on my level of peace during the last few months.
I think the biggest thing for me was his taking over the bulk [...]
Posted in Depression, Learning on Mar 4th, 2006 2 Comments »
Yesterday a few cogs dropped into place and opened a door in my mind. It was like that episode of Lost when Claire begins to remember what happened to her during the two weeks she was kidnapped – the Ah-Ha! moments came throughout the day, each triggered by another thought or something I saw.
Since [...]
Posted in Depression, Rage Against The Pile, Ruthie on Jan 12th, 2006 1 Comment »
Yesterday afternoon I unleashed the Fiery Fury on Ruthie.
As I relayed the story to Bryan when he got home from work, we found ourselves laughing at the absurdity of the events – something I was not able to do in the heat of the moment. Not that my rage is funny, but that we [...]
Posted in Depression, Piling It On (and taking it off), Rage Against The Pile, Ruthie on Jan 9th, 2006 5 Comments »
This was the week I was to start back up at the gym. I even worked it into my calendar so I wouldn’t be tempted to brush it off. But alas, my children both came down with congested, croup-y coughs last night making me unable to leave them in the gym’s childcare room.
But [...]
Posted in Depression, Getting Things Done, Learning on Jan 1st, 2006 No Comments »
Last year when New Year’s Eve fell on a Friday, and most businesses were closed that day, our furnace crapped out on us Thursday night around dinner time. We were left with no heat in our home over a long holiday weekend, which also happened to be the coldest weekend of the winter that [...]
Posted in Depression, Friendship on Dec 15th, 2005 No Comments »
Please allow me to be a little sappy tonight.
I am awash with love for all things friendship right now. I’m lying in bed with a homemade warm, aromatic, herbal heating pad keeping my toes warm, listening to the ultimate friend gift – a mix ‘tape’ (a CD actually, but like just like I can’t [...]
Posted in Depression on Nov 28th, 2005 3 Comments »
The church I attend places a high value on art, creativity, and congregational participation in the worship experience. There are many opportunities for our members to share original poetry, responsive readings, essays, and songs during the course of the service.
Our pastor has been preaching through the book of Hebrews, and yesterday’s passage was Hebrews [...]
Posted in Blog Stuff, Depression, Getting Things Done on Nov 10th, 2005 1 Comment »
Look at me go.
I just figured out how to change the font, making it easier to read. Plus I updated my Blog Pile list a little.
I needed something mundane and technical to focus on to calm the crazies in my head. It seems to have done the trick since [...]