Comments on: An Untitled Essay on Writing and Wickedness

By: Paulette

Paulette — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 20:27:34 +0000

In the end it will matter little to anyone if our homes, and yards and desks are kept in perfect order or so full of clutter we could write our magnum opus in the dust that lays thereon.

What matters is that our minds and hearts and arms are always open to love, to soothe, to teach, to feel, to learn. We shouldn’t feel guilty for needing time for renewal. For what can pour out of an empty vessal but dust?

May your path in life be one of beauty and balance.

By: K.

K. — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 02:41:49 +0000

weird….go see today’s post on Notes….we seem to have been on the exact same page this week.

By: heartichoke

heartichoke — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 06:42:40 +0000

All this great advice is great and all, but the real question is; who is bringing all the Ben and Jerry’s to the 2 in the afternoon pajama party? I seem to be quite fond of Phish Food myself…goes perfect with a little Jerry Springer..

By: Kristin

Kristin — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 04:09:02 +0000

Okay, this back and forth with Bryan has me laughing.

I relate so much with the feelings that schedules can bring–the potential for a kind of freedom, combined with the potential for making me feel terrible in the end. The weird thing is that for me, the more that I worked through my writer’s block and fears of sucking at writing (even though I knew I wanted to write and had potential for being good at it), the more the household stuff and feelings of failure around not ever being on top of things there began to straighten out. It’s like the fears of failure paralyzed me on all fronts, and so dealing with the paralysis on one front spread to the others, too. I’ve been meaning to email you privately about a book that has been so helpful for me on the writing front. It’s called “Writing from the Inside Out”, by Dennis Palumbo. Have you heard of it? I know no book is a magic pill, but this one helped me feel so much less crazy and hopeless about doing this thing I wanted to do.

Many good vibes to you in this craziness of being a mom and a writer.

By: Bryan Zug

Bryan Zug — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 03:37:36 +0000

true, true

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 17:27:32 +0000

May I just clarify that I was the one who created a bedtime routine for Ruthie, wrote it down in picture form so even a three year old could follow it, and you were the first parent to “flex” it out of the process?

By: Bryan Zug

Bryan Zug — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 15:33:57 +0000

>>
He prefers a schedule, written where we can both refer to it.
>>

Correction — I prefer a flexible schedule with distinct times for work and re-creation — intentional activities that refresh the soul.

A schedule to me is just a tool to help keep healthy boundaries for those very necessary areas of my life.

By: Bryan Zug

Bryan Zug — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 15:20:27 +0000

>>
my best strategy so far has been to schedule as much time away as i can get away with without my husband calling a lawyer.
>>

I’m down with that

By: jen lemen

jen lemen — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 14:27:36 +0000

hang in there, jen. it’s very hard to keep up with family, devote yourself to your writing and take good enough care of yourself so that creativity just flows out of you. i find routines and schedules soul crushing as well. my best strategy so far has been to schedule as much time away as i can get away with without my husband calling a lawyer. i find that even five hours uninterrupted with freedom to let things flow does wonders for me. five days even better, but i can only swing that one once a year. if i can’t get either, i’ll take five minutes and mine it for all it’s worth. but i must have time to myself where no demands are made on me.

i wrote a piece on burnout for minti that might cheer you up right now.

you are not alone sistah. hang in there!!! this stuff is hard.